The journey of a Visa pretender
1st thing to do : Have a seat. Once the process is started, you won’t have any rest in months.
Basically, the first step to come to a beautiful State of America, and no matter which one, is to find a sponsor who would have the kindness to -as indicated in its name- sponsor you. The point is, if you’re not Usan Bolt or Bradley Cooper nobody won’t ever communicate the desire to sponsor you. And if you are, you’re already American so what’s the matter?
Anyway, to get a sponsor you have to pay a dedicated organism. The great thing with this whole process is even when you pay you’re not sure to obtain your visa. And to be honest, paying is the easiest part of the whole thing, and I already went through twice so I know what I am talking about. So you pay around 1500 dollars for a 5 months internship program and that’s where your American dream begins. Actually, I had never seen that amount of paperwork in my life, and I didn’t know it existed so many categories within the human nature. You have to answer a hundred of questions regarding your sexuality, your skin color, or also your wish (or not) to terrorize someone, somewhere, at some point, in the USA. After having filled out all these essential documents, you have to go to a real photographer (not a machine, I insist, NOT A MACHINE as the woman yelled at me when I came for the second time to her office with what they call “useless pictures”) and take the best shot of yourself ever.
No smile, no hair, no teeth but ears, eyes and nose under the spotlights. You’re all set.
My sponsor advisor seemed to be really excited while taking my photos “Correct!”. Then she asked me to buy an envelope in order for the embassy to send my visa at home. She also asked me to pay for the service the embassy will provide me, as said sending my visa at home. And finally, she told me to call a phone number where I wasted –ahem sorry- paid 20$ in order to get an appointment to the embassy.
As a matter of fact, I gave up trying to understand after the first payment. She already had my credit card number so she didn’t needed me anyway.
ALMOST DONE!
…Nope.
1st advice : never miss your appointment. Neither the second. First, they will hate you and ask you ten times why did you miss it, and why couldn’t you visit your grandmother few hours later.
“-But, she is dead.
-So what, did it change after you saw her?”
One point.
2nd advice : Never take the 7:30 AM appointment. You will queue facing the cold weather for hours anyway, and none of the cafés are open at this time. Bad strategy.
3rd advice : Don’t bring your computer. Nice guys at the entrance will ask you to leave it out without offering to keep it while you’re in the building. Too bad.
4th advice : bring crosswords, energetic bars, slippers and a wide pullover. You are going to spend a long long time on these horrible metallic chairs. And strangely, nobody will come to chat with you. Everybody seems under pressure like if they were being spied by someone from the American government.
5th advice : speak English. Nobody speaks other languages there. Or don’t want to.
6th advice : be precise and don’t forget any details. Those guys are worse than the CSI, and keep in mind you’ll look always suspicious to them if you miss anything.
7th advice : which is not really an advice. You can dance when you got your approval. Everybody will understand, and if you’re lucky, the security guys will dance with you.
8th advice : go celebrate, but not too much. You have to be at your place every days until the postman comes to deliver you the precious document.
But seriously guys, I know you will probably be stuck for an entire day at the airport because you got the wrong document, you will be scared every time you parked badly because you think everything could be a reason to be evicted, you will struggle with at least one translation company to get your diplomas certified.
Even though, I can tell you one thing : because no one want to leave this amazing country, I can tell you that was easy in compared with what comes next.
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